wrote a long post and lost it.

first two-week-wait!

How do people do this?! I think I might have ovulated Monday/Tuesday based on weird period-like cramping Monday night. We BD twice on Monday. It's now Wednesday. I seriously have to wait until (earliest!) next Wed-Friday to know?! Oh, my. I'm trying not to get my hopes up because I know that it can take months and months - but I come from a pretty fertile family, so..fingers are crossed.

On the bright side, it encouraged DH (on his own!) to look for a new hose for the dehumidifier and to start cleaning junk out of the future nursery.

Hey, whatever gets him cleaning..

here we go..

Original plan was to start TTC in February. Then it bumped to January. Now, dh wants to start NOW. After all, he says, it might not happen right away and in the long run, what difference does a month make?

I've been working hard on shelving my anxieties about money and the future to just focus on the here and now. There is no way to plan for jobs or job losses or finances or bills or anything concretely! He knows this, of course, but selling me on that fact is the harder part. I tend to worry, obsessively.

So...I am taking a leap of faith, here - even though I am not religious - and will assume that everything will work itself out. We will make it work. And so, the TTC journey begins. I'll be keeping track financially of everything lifestyle and baby that might be relevant to helping out another young bride and/or mom-to-be, or just anyone who might be curious.

We are going the route of cloth diapering - and here is my first purchase, arrived in the mail Friday! (DH okayed them if we end up with a boy, he says it's for breast cancer awareness. I love him).

Baby Costs so far:
3 GroVia shells
50-pk Biosoakers $38.
from babysteals.com !

so. damn. cute.

cloth diapering??

So we are not pregnant yet, but already I've become sucked into the idea of cloth diapering. Instead of writing papers (which are piling up!), I've taken to scouring the internets for research, reviews and ideas.

There are seemingly two stores within normal driving distance from my house, so once we are pregnant, I'll drag DH for a day trip. He is on-board with the whole thing, which totally surprised me. He says a buddy at work does it with his wife, and so naturally I told DH to make this wife be my friend. He says that is a little creepy.

I guess it is.

Anyone want to be my friend to help me learn about cloth diapering? Or point me in the direction of a blog, website, etc that won't mind my incessant posting and never-ending questions? I already bug the Bees enough, it seems!


For any readers who might be cloth-diapering. I'm loving the AI2 idea (G Diapers, Flip, GroVia). Pros/cons over pockets (BumGenius, FuzziBunz)?

saw this on facebook. I would so rather be a whale.

I take no ownership of this. Not even sure who wrote it, but I do know, that everyone should read and share it. The model pictured below is French model Tara Lynn.

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.


They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.

They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.

Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I?! "

fall and mud.

To me, the best part about fall are the smell of leaves and apple cider, the feel of a thick sweatshirt and comfy boots, and the sight of beautiful fall foliage.

We live in an apartment, so it's difficult to be able to decorate for seasons - my landlords are relatives, and practicing a religion that does not believe in holidays, so it's a fine line. In addition, there is no sun on our front steps, so I cannot have mums. Boo, hiss. But I found this steal at Jo-Anns (60% off fall decor, + 20% off your purchase!)

I have a slight obsession with owls. But, this said Fall without saying Halloween, so it is do-able. 

However, to my two-year-old nephew and my two-year-old sheltie, "Fall" means Mud Puddles.

which while fun, leads to Baths.

So sad. He is currently staring longingly out the window at the mud puddle that was oh so much fun, while I light a "fireside" candle and curl up in a sweatshirt.

Happy Fall!

holy macaroni.

god is great, beer is good and people are crazy.

although, I don't love beer and I'm kind of agnostic. but the point is there.

do you ever wonder why people do the things they do? why do some people start fights with others? why are some people overly sensitive, or overly antagonistic? why do some people retreat and take alone time to process things, and others drag anyone within distance into their web?

I should understand this by now, right? as I will be a individual, couple & family therapist come may? I don't know if it's something anyone will ever understand, to be honest. sometimes I wish I knew, other times I feel much better living under my rock.